Wow I can't believe it's been almost a year since I wrote something in here.  Oh I'm sure I wrote since January 22, 2007 - but I probably deleted it. 
I'm not quite sure why I have the itch to write again now, but I do have the chance and so therefore I shall take it.

I was going to re-cap the past year and carry on with the post......but what the hell for? Why would I want to re-live all that again?

Today, the first day of the rest of my life, is a Friday. Not only that, but it's also a payday.  I sit here with the dog at my feet and AC/DC is playing in the background and I am rejoicing in the fact that I don't have to cook anything tonight, I get the remote to myself and I don't have any hockey games tonight.  This is a first in a long time!

Do you really believe that things happen in life for a reason?  I heard that line today and I had to stop and think about it. Do they REALLY happen for a reason? Or do they just happen?  And if there IS a reason, what happens if you don't understand the reason behind a happening and you carry on with life bitter and disappointed? 

phone................ I shall be back!

January 14th - I'm really not on the phone still! I'm just a little distracted.  I'll be back to post some more gibberish soon.

Is Gibberish a word?  If not, then replace that with BS.

Leaving the City of Regret

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet, I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip".

I got tickets to fly there on "WISHIHAD" airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which, I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what Might Have Been.  

No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town. As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party.

I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the town’s leading citizens would be there. First, there would be the Done family, You Know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Then Shattered Dreams would surely make an appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.

Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be canceled by ME!

I started to realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, "I can't change yesterday, but I do have the power to make today a wonderful day".

I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the city of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address.

Am I sorry for the mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.

So, if you are planning a trip to the city of Regret, please cancel all your Reservations now.  

Instead, take a trip to a place called Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myself and the New Starts are so very helpful.  

By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. You too, can find this new town; just ask the Lord to show you the way. Now I live on ICANDOIT Street.

-- Author Unknown

Wow, I haven't written anything in here this week! That must be a new record for me - I have been blogging here for well over a year now and I don't think I've ever gone for more than 3 days without writing something, somewhere.  Well, unless I was away - but for the most part, I usually don't let too many days go by without blogging about something.

I do find that lots of blogs are written in my mind though. I talk to myself all the time - imagining how I'm going to blog or write about whatever is going through my head at the time......

Can we, as humans, help how we feel?  Is it wrong to feel even though those feelings are wrong?  Or is it really like they say - you can't help who you love!!  OR, is it our moral responsibility to keep all feeling thoughts and emotions in check?? 

That very line goes through my mind many times a day: I can't help how I feel!  I feel guilty for what I'm lusting about, and for allowing thoughts and emotions to take over my head and heart...... but really, how can we help it?  How many times have we heard other people say, when they've just admitted to an affair that "it just happened - I didn't mean for it to happen".  Is that really true? An affair "just happens?" Or an attraction to someone "just happens?"  Are we in any control at all of what we're feeling and what we're attracted to?

Man, too many questions today!

Just a few little things going through my head right now........

Well, almost 24 hours after I've been to the gym, and I'm here to tell you that I'm not feeling too bad today.  Maybe I didn't put out enough - maybe I'm not in as bad a shape as I thought I was..... maybe the pain sets in on day 2!!!???

Its COLD here - seriously, bitterly, mind altering COLD!  As I sit here, I hear the wind howling so hard, the garage door rattling, even though its INSIDE the attached garage - where both outside doors are closed, the inside door is still rattling in the wind, and I can see the snow swirling off the roof, mixed with the smoke that is being pounded to the ground from the chimney of our fireplace..... the snow is whipping down the street and as cars go by, you can see the frost on their windows and the exhaust billowing out of the tail pipes......

I think I'll go stoke up the fire some more.

I've been drinking green tea lately. Someone on here talks about drinking green tea and I do enjoy a cup now an again, but I didn't realize it can be so healthy..... and there are MANY reasons to drink green tea.  I picked some up yesterday call Chai Green Tea -  mm mm good!  Mixed with a little steamed milk, a little honey - sit next to the firplace, with a cozy blanket wrapped around me...... 

ahhhh! to dream...............